It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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