it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
