Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize