I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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