I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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