is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
