I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
