Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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