You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
