what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
