Heybabeimwearingurpanties
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
