He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
