i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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