Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
two words...techno handjob
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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