So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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