Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
