For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
