i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
