He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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