having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's blow job season.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
