One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize