Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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