doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
