the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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