I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
