She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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