Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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