It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
