apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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