the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
