Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
