im having a threesome with these popsicles
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
