she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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