i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
