Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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