dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
