I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
