plz talk dirty to me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How drunk are you?
Completed.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
