i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
