i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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