she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
