I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
