then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
