They should really pass out barf bags in church
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
