You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
