her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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