yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
did you just send me my own nude
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
