so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
