Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she peed on how many people?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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