he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
