Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
