after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
