i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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