why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize