we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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