And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
