check it out our google latitudes are spooning
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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