I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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