just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
