I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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