I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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