In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize