everyone is single if you try hard enough
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
